Witnessed A Melanau's Customary Wedding @ Kampung Tanam, Dalat

[NOTE] This post is not intended to explain or elaborate about the true customary wedding of Melanau's society in detail, but just wish to share what I saw, I heard and I read from my virgin experience attending this event. Hence if there are any mistakes or inaccuracies about the occasion in my write up, I bag for your forgiveness and I'll appreciate for any correction and comment.

Felt very honored to be invited to attend a Melanau friend/colleague customary wedding ceremony at Kampung Tanam, Dalat.

It was on 1st of June, the 1st day of Gawai Festival celebration in Sarawak. The weather was just nice. 3 of us in a car, Sparkish, Rojak Toh and me departed from Sibu as early as 5.30am. We had been informed the banquet would be started at 9.30am so we hoped to reach there on time.

After about 3 hours of driving, we finally reached Kampung Tanam, Dalat by following the map drawn by the bridegroom of the day, Collin. As the road inside the kampung is rather narrow, thus we had been advised to park our car near empty space opposite to S.K. Kampung Tanam. We then walked for 10 minutes to reach the bridegroom's house.

As the morning was still early, crowds were not seen yet when we reached the place. Preparation for the banquet (kenduri) was still on going. Around 10am, buffet style banquet began. Friends and relatives of the bridegroom started to fill up the place.

Nice and delicious dishes had been served, most of them were my favorite! We had Curry Chicken, beef in black sauce, young jackfruit in santan, deep fried big ikan tenggiri, salted fish fried with peanuts, acar limau (lime pickle) and watermelon as dessert. Packet drinks were free flow! The foods were truly yummy! I just couldn't help myself eating for few rounds!

The wedding ceremony started after the meal, around 11am when representative of the bridegroom family started to handover specific gifts to the elders which later were brought to the bride side.

The type of gifts very much depend on the social status of the family within their Melanau society. For your information, Melanau society is ranked in their unique way called "pikul" and they're very particular in this. It is a complicated system and if you wish to know more, you can refer to this link. The higher the pikul means the family has higher hierarchy in the society. The type of gifts to be sent over is depend on this pikul. Each gift will represent certain pikul, for example, the canon will be counted as 2 pikul and the total pikul to be brought to the bride side have to be equal to the pikul of the family.

So, if follow the tradition, Collin's family is 9 pikul so the gifts brought over to the bride side have to be equal to that value. Actually you can know how many pikul does a wedding family is by referring to the number of flags placed at the "bridge" at the entrance to the house.

After the elders checked each item and upon agreement, the representative from the bridegroom will then departed to the bride's house by bringing all the necessary gifts for negotiations. We followed the big "team" to the bride house by using the chartered bus and the negotiating process will be done only by the gentlemen.

We had been informed that the negotiation process will be done for 5 rounds, going in and out the bride's house. For the 1st negotiation, nothing much ritual was done but representative informed the bride side that the bridegroom representatives were already here and ready for the event.

Correction: The 1st round in negotiation stage is actually merisik, whereby bridegroom's representative making sure the going-to-be bride is not belongs to some other guy. Then, they'll seek permission from the elders to marry the bride on behalf of the groom and discussed the gifts required for the marriage.

On the 2nd round, portion of the gifts were brought into bride's house. If not mistaken, it was the spear's head with golden ring tied on it. The elders from the bridegroom side then negotiated with the bride's elders. The negotiation process was rather relaxing and there were some laughter involved. Too bad I couldn't get what they were negotiating about as they fully communicate in Melanau language, but it looks fun and interesting to me!

Correction: The 2nd round is actually bertunang, whereby groom's representative handled over symbolic gifts which were agreed upon such as the spear's head and a golden ring to the bride's elders as a symbol of engagement. Upon acceptance from the elders, the marriage is declared legal and official!

Upon successful negotiation, the gifts were handled to the bride's elders. The elders then carefully examined and checked if the items fulfill their requirement. When everything were agreed upon, that round's negotiation was consider completed and the bridegroom's representatives will step down from the house preparing for the next round.

After few minutes rest, the 3rd round started with more gifts been brought into the house including a sword, a copper container and a wooden container covered by a pinky cloth (with gold bracelets in it). There maybe more thing that I didn't discover, so do enlighten me if any of you know more clearly.

Negotiation went on and the gifts were handled to the bride's elders, one after another upon examination and agreement of each item by them. There were no disagreement been raised, thus the negotiation was successful and the bridegroom's representative stepped out from the house again.

The same process continued for the 4th and 5th round but different items were brought for each round. On the 4th round, the canon was brought and for the final round, it was the "pakan" - the gift (in the form of money) given to bride's parents and certain relatives.

When all these negotiations were agreed upon, mission is accomplished which means the bride side had agreed with this marriage. Bridegroom's negotiation team will then bring the good news back!

The wedding ceremony was then officially started! Bridegroom with his best man went to bride's house with the accompany of the ladies! Remember just now I said the negotiation session is done by gentlemen? So now it was ladies' turn!

The arrival of bridegroom was accompanied by the music played using traditional music instrument.

Once inside bride's house, the bride and the bridegroom "bersanding" - sitting side by side on the bridal couch called "pelamin" to be seen and blessed by the relatives and friends. I was not sure if there was any ceremony taking place during the bersanding as the bride's house was flooded by friends and relatives of both side. It was just too packed to be entered. When I finally managed to squeeze into the house, it was photography session already.

After bersanding, both bride and bridegroom were required to walk down and up the staircase (few steps) for 3 times, taking turn starting with the bride. So far I still have no idea what's the meaning behind this ritual. It'll be great if anyone can enlighten me on this! ^ ^

The bride then followed the bridegroom back to his house where another round of bersanding was taken place.

Groom's mother then fed the bride with daun sirih (betel leaf) and wore a gold bracelet on bride's wrist as a symbol of blessing (I believe). After bersanding, the bridegroom followed the bride to her place again bringing along plenty of gifts.

Our Melanau traditional wedding exposure and experience placed a full-stop at this point as time disallowed us to continue following the lengthy ceremony. It was about 4pm and about time to drive back Sibu before the sky turning dark.

Anyway, it was really a great experience and I truly enjoyed it!! I would like to express my gratitude and special thanks to:

1. Collin and his family for the invitation and their hospitality
2. Sparkish for sponsoring his car and drove us all they way to and fro Sibu-Dalat
3. One of the member in bridegroom's negotiation team (which I didn't have chance to know him by name) who tried his best to explain and acknowledge us about the customary processes especially during negotiation stage. Although most of the time I couldn't catch most of the Melanau terms told by him, but at least I get some tips from there. Otherwise I'll not be able to come out with this write up.
4. Another colleague with the name Colin (Yes... same name with bridegroom but only a single "l" in his name) we met at bridegroom's house who offered us a free ride to bride's house at the time we were deeply in need.
5. Rojak Toh for the snacks he brought along which let us had something to "bite" and chew on during the long journey. ;)

Last but not least, a sincere congratulation to Collin, my comrade & Rinea for their new wedding and may happiness accompany both of you forever and ever!

A Little Friendship Gathering in Kuching

This trip is not about visiting places of interest or spending leisure in resorts. We had no fancy schedule or routes, but we still manage to spend quality time together.

This is what our friendship is all about. Almost 12 years of friendship with everyone still feel close to each other is not something easy to achieve, especially when everyone has their own life, family, career and separated by geographical distance.

Flash back 12 years ago when we were taken by Unimas for a same degree course. From a total stranger somehow we got to know each other, slowly became close companions for lectures, assignments, dining and life sharing.

I believe there were actually sparks among some of us, but somehow the chemical reaction is not strong enough to form a new molecule. So we remain as what we are and who we are until this day.

Now, the brainy Anita is the mother of 2 and near to achieve her dream to become a lawyer or at least a legal adviser. Kayel is a going-to-be father of 2 and busy picking up his photography skills with his newly bought D7000. The pretty chabo PY is a successful news editor who gonna have her "living happily ever after" life soon. Baby face killer Chun still with his young look, but don't get cheated by his appearance because his roar can shake the earth! How about myself? Ok... I am still a tiny programmer cum a very amateur blogger who blog for interest but not for commercial (yet).

However I think our friendship is not about comparing how successful each other is, but we bless and proud of each others success. I guess that's one out of many factors that keep our friendship last until today. Comparing will cause jealousy which may spoil everything good in the way!

That's why for this gathering trip, there was no special event been arranged. We just follow our heart and some adhoc instinct on where to go and what to do. We just enjoyed and treasure the time to be together sharing and updating about our life.

I felt glad that in this trip, we had also visited Akuma and Linda. Akuma was my roommate for 2 years while Linda was our coursemate. Our last little gathering of 5 was on their wedding, which was about 2 years ago. Now, both of them had become the parent for a few months old baby boy. Feel glad to meet them back and my sincere congratulation to both of them!

Thank you everyone for every effort made to make this tiny yet great gathering a success. I truly appreciate this opportunity. Shall look forward for the next one soon!

A Short Trip to Tanjung Manis

10th April 2011, a sunny morning. It was still in the campaign period of Sarawak 10th State Election. Sparkish had suggested to take a drive to Tanjung Manis on that day. 4 participants - Sparkish as driver, CoolFace King as co-driver, Rojak Toh and me as followers.

Tanjung Manis is a new integrated port which will become the primary import and export gateway for central region of Sarawak. Before this the newly developed township can only reachable via water transport through the mighty Rajang River. One can take boat express from Sarikei to Tanjung Manis which would spend you about an hour's time. However recently the road connecting Sibu - Tanjung Manis is almost complete. The 87km route which includes passing through as many as 8 bridges will only need around one hour if travel by car.

We took our breakfast at Fong Hing Seafood House across Igan River before officially started our journey to Tanjung Manis. This is what I ordered, the claypot noodles which was very big in portion and it is RM4.50.

After the breakfast, we began our journey. As I mentioned earlier, this journey needed us to pass through 8 bridges, big and small! After about 20 minutes of drive, we reached the first bridge, which is also the most major bridge among them called the Lebaan Bridge.

Just in case you don't know, the 1.24km Lebaan Bridge is country's longest bridge across a river! "Unbelievable? Believe it!" This bridge actually had caused some controversy upon its completion as it disallowed ships 20 meters and above to pass through. Want to know more about this issue? Click here for my older post about it.

We stopped a while at the highest spot of the Lebaan Bridge to see the scenery around it. As at that time it was still in the campaigning period of Sarawak State election, we discovered that BN was doing some activities at a long house nearby.

We then continue our journey. We passed through bridges after bridges, I can only name few, Sg. Lengan, Loba Satubah, Sg. Loba Pulau and Batang Belawai. When we reached each bridge, we stopped the car at the roadside and took some photos.

Some of the bridges were still under construction, so road users are advised to use the facilities on their own risks.

After rounds and rounds of stop and drive, we finally reached Tanjung Manis new township. We stopped our car just beside Tanjung Manis wharf. The wharf itself is nice! As it was near to the sea, you can see the water is light green in color.

The wharf was roofed so for those who are waiting for boat, they have a good shelter from expose under the hot sun.

Of course it was also a good choice for fishing enthusiasts where they no need to worry about the burning heat directly hit their skin as they can get protection from the roof.

There were nothing much to explore here except enjoying the breeze from the sea. The day was burning hot, the lunch time was here and we were all hungry. Thus, time to eat!!

Not much choice of foods around really. Only one stall was on business near the wharf area. We took a sit and it took ages for the eatery worker to entertain us. About the foods, we all went for mixed rice. It was all self-service including taking the rice! Yes! Take the rice yourself! Then, scoop the dishes you like and pay the money!

The standard price for the mixed rice was RM5.50! Expensive? YES!!! Especially when it was not delicious!! The curry chicken taste ok, but the livers were as hard as rubber and the mixed vege was like never cooked!!

There was a souvenir shop beside the eatery, but for me, nothing worth to buy.

 
There were actually few shoplots near the new township, but because of Sunday, most of the shop were closed so we didn't explore it further.

There was it! The 1/2 day Tanjung Manis trip! After the lunch and fooling around, we then headed back to Sibu. Nothing much on the visiting itself, just went to look at the place that we never being there before but overall, I enjoy the trip a lot as I spent quality time updating with friends and sharing some life experience together! Thanks Sparkish for the free ride again!!